10k Truth - The Road Up

The Road Up

Brace yourself for one of the more strange ramblings from the Rage. He actually stopped during a run to trash talk a defenseless deer carcass, which chose the most unfortunate place to succumb to the elements: about 60 yards from the summit of a 2,000 foot vertical ascent 3+ mile run on a mountain fondly named "Kong" by the Coop after he ran Kong the first time.

The nickname was drawn from Coop's days on Mt. St. Helens. When it rumbled, Coop's crew would say "Kong calls." Legend has it that when you give less than a respectable effort during an ascent of Kong, you suffer his mighty wrath...clearly which must have been the case of this poor deer, who could not handle the Truth a mere 60 yards from the summit...

"IS THAT ALL YOU GOT! YOU BETTER AT LEAST HAVE HAD A GOOD TIME GOING. COME ON! FINISH THE WORKOUT! AND DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THAT "BUT I AIN'T GOT NO SWEAT GLANDS" EXCUSE, EITHER!

The story goes over the edge as the Rage relates a dream about the deer actually coming back to life and lying in wait during his next ascent of Kong...medication is helping, but the prognosis is not good...

10k totem
Chainsaw carving
by Ross Eberhart,
Ellensburg, Washington


	I woke up from a bad dream the other night. Something about a deer that was waiting for us at the yellow gate, just before the top of Kong.

I could see him, standing in an unusual position, kind of up on his hind legs leaning against the gate staring at us as we ran up the hill...not moving an inch when we got to the gate. Then, he proceeds to start this jabbing thing right in my face with his front hoofs...yelling something that sounded like "...no sweat glands, eh?...well start sweating, pal..." Trying to escape, I thought I could outrun him to the top...but he kept right in stride and continued to jab

Just as I was about to pass out, I suddenly began to levitate...my legs still churning as I watched the surreal scene below me unfold. In his quest to pummel me, he had strayed too far into the sun and now had begun to stagger back toward the shade. Just as he nearly reached his safe haven he was met by a furious onslaught of trash talk, unmatched by anyone on the planet...yes...Manclark stood between the deer and the shade, and launched a tirade so ferocious that Kong himself peered over the trees to witness the relentless barrage of "your fawns wear Nikes..." and "your wimpy rack wouldn't even qualify for the wall behind the juice bar at the DAC...."

The mentally demoralized deer then collapsed just short of the blacktop and immediately began to rot...

As far as the "levitating" Logan you might ask?...Kong then gently set his sorry self back down on the blacktop saying "...my son...I have saved you one too many times on my hill...you can go now, but the fate of the deer awaits you for anything I deem as an unacceptable effort up my hill..." Turning to the smirking Manclark, Kong says "...as for you, Mr. Slope...you will get a bear next time...with Nike swooshes for eyes and a tattoo of Phil Knight on his butt. The very sight of that should instill enough rage in you to make it a pretty even match. I would gladly make another appearance to see that for myself...now get off my mountain...."

Then I woke up.